1
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,308
It's a perfect night
        For observing.

2
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,877
It's warm, dark.
     The air is crystal clear.

3
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,146
Okay, they're in bed.

4
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,487
You know,
I'm not satisfied

5
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:24,823
Watching the mullers from afar.
This isn't what humans do.

6
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:28,394
Humans don't just
    Observe each other.
    They interact.

7
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:31,530
- we should make
        Contact with them.
      - ohh!

8
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,133
Here's something
            Different.

9
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:39,338
You know,
    Without their clothes,
    They seem kind of...

10
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,340
- gelatinous?
         - yeah.

11
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:45,710
- what is he looking for?
   - I'm not sure yet.

12
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,915
Wait.  Wait!
    Yes, this is it.

13
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,917
I believe they're
    Going to mate.

14
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,219
- sally: aw!
          - ohh!

15
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,655
Tommy, pay attention.

16
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,690
Why?  This is like

17
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,759
Sweating to the oldies
Without music.

18
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:04,063
This is important.

19
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,331
Sex is how humans enrich
        Their relationships

20
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,733
And reaffirm the commitment
     They've made to each other.

21
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,770
- it's the most sacred,
      Intimate part--
    - sally: they're done.

22
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,740
Already?

23
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,709
Thank you very much!

24
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:21,012
<I> ( 50's rock music playing )</I>

25
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:53,778
-<I> ( indistinct tv chatter )</I>
- who is that smoldering beauty

26
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,648
With the fiery eyes?

27
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,584
Katie couric.

28
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,155
Katie couric.

29
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:06,825
It sounds like
           Something beautiful
           Stuck in your throat.

30
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,894
Mrs. Dubcek,

31
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,763
I need to go next door
And become neighborly.

32
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:16,101
- what do you know
    About the mullers?
  - they're lovely, very nice.

33
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,737
Of course,
       I shouldn't talk.

34
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,740
It's true your voice is not
  One of your best assets,

35
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,443
- but go ahead.
- all right.

36
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,678
The mullers have had
            Their ups and downs.

37
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,048
I guess her husband
            Had some problems
            In the bedroom area.

38
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,950
Which area?
          The closet?

39
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,353
That's what I thought
           It was at first, too,

40
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,821
But it turned out to be
         A vitamin deficiency.

41
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:40,492
Vitamin deficiency?
Mr. Muller and I
Can talk about that.

42
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,761
No, no.  Stick
             To sports or cars.

43
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:46,031
Cars, yes.
That's great!

44
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,966
I have a car.

45
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:52,504
Oh, why am I doing
This to myself?

46
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,807
She probably doesn't
            Even know I'm alive.

47
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,778
No, she knows.

48
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:18,730
- hi there, neighbor.
  You know anything about cars?
- is this your car?

49
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,667
Yeah.  I seem to be
      Having some trouble
      With my...

50
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,868
Spark nuts.

51
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,806
Sometimes with these
Old ones,

52
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,808
You're better just
To call the junk man
And have it towed away.

53
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,477
No, I couldn't do that.
      I love this car.

54
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,979
It has a compartment
        Just for gloves.

55
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,115
- dick solomon.
        - frank muller.

56
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,383
Haven't seen you
        Around much.

57
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,019
I've seen a lot of you
         And your wife.

58
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,226
She says you're
    Some big deal professor
    At the college.

59
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:49,728
Hardly.  It's
           Quantum astrophysics.

60
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,163
A drugged monkey
            Could do it.

61
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,234
- what about you?
  - I work the line
    At the ball bearing plant.

62
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,236
- no, the cincor plant?
    - yeah.

63
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,971
Are you kidding?
       I love your bearings.

64
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,941
What do you make?
               Thrust bearings
               Or linear?

65
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,009
Actually, I do
    Journal bearings.

66
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:07,779
Wow!  Is that plain
             Or rolling contact?

67
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,382
On a good day, both.

68
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,517
Man, the stories
            You must have.

69
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,786
A few, a few.

70
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:21,126
- I thought you'd be
       More of an egghead.
     - no, all meat.

71
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:33,171
- woman:<I> frank!</I>
      - there's the boss.

72
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,643
Well, I'll see
         You around.

73
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,678
Oh, no big deal,

74
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,713
But your car's parked

75
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:45,350
About eight inches
Over the property line.
Could you watch that?

76
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,952
I'll go you one better.
I'll stop doing it.

77
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,888
Thanks, friend.

78
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,559
"Friend."

79
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,367
Watching television
      Is amazing.

80
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:05,537
I haven't had a thought
  In my head for three hours.

81
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:08,873
And that's just
    The tip of the iceberg.

82
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,977
- pseudofamily.
     - where have you been?

83
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,979
I have been...

84
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,981
In frank muller's garage.

85
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,451
We bragged, we laughed,
    We tinkered.

86
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:22,354
He let me touch
        His stuff.

87
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,356
It feels good to be
    Around frank.

88
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:27,693
It fills an empty space
 I've been feeling right here.

89
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,695
I think it's
Because we're friends.

90
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:33,332
♪ so no one told you
  It was gonna be this way. ♪

91
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,904
- what is this?
    - shake 'n bake chicken.
      Just eat it.

92
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:43,274
No, this isn't chicken.
    This is just... Flakes.

93
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,812
- okay, stay right there.
   - sally, you must learn
     To cook.

94
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,981
How far do you think
       You're going to go
       With just a fabulous body

95
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:53,284
- and the intellect of a genius?
- the box had a picture
  Of a chicken on it.

96
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,688
I shaked it, I baked it.
What else am I supposed
To do with it?

97
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,624
Why don't you
           Ask mrs. Muller?
           Get close to her.

98
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:02,361
- do I have to?
     - yes.  They're plump.
       We're emaciated.

99
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,363
You do the math.

100
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:06,531
Making a friend
            Is so simple.

101
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:09,167
You may not be as good
          At it as I am,

102
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,870
- but I command you to try.
  - what is the point?

103
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,873
We're not going
         To learn about humans
         By watching television.

104
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,308
We have to mix
         Ourselves among them,

105
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,245
Walk a mile
In their pants.

106
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:22,213
I just don't know how
    To talk to women.

107
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,449
I'm sure you can find
        Something to say to her.

108
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,619
You could walk on the beach
  And discuss itching.

109
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:32,391
Oh, how exciting.

110
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,726
I am so glad
I get to be the woman.

111
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,829
Next planet, I get to be
Something big with horns.

112
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,433
Okay, so
       The shake 'n bake

113
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:45,003
- is just a cocoon
         For the chicken.
       - yep.

114
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:48,006
And chiclets are not
         Chicken at all, right?

115
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:51,175
- you're not from ohio,
      Are you?
- no.

116
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:53,578
I can tell.

117
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,948
I don't envy you having
To take care of<I> three</I> men.

118
00:06:56,950 --> 00:07:00,018
I only got frank,
And he's a full-time job.

119
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:03,455
Just once I'd like to see
That man pick up a sock.

120
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:06,558
I'd like to see men
          Put their dirty dishes
          In the sink.

121
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,560
I'd like to see them
Do laundry.

122
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,229
I'd like to see them crammed
  Between two steel wheels

123
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,197
And ground
       Into a fine paste.

124
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:19,070
You know, I'd like
      To see that myself.

125
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,105
You let me know.

126
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,242
( laughs )

127
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,278
- oh, you're dangerous.
- oh, yes, I am.

128
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:32,383
I like you.
You can come by anytime.

129
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:34,619
I will.

130
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,621
But do me a favor,

131
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:39,558
Before you settle down
And get married,
You have some fun.

132
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,727
If I had your figure,
I'd find some old
Millionaire in florida

133
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,096
And slowly suck
    The life out of him.

134
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,502
I have the very
           Equipment to do that.

135
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,805
I'm sure you do.

136
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,843
- hi, neighbor.
    - hey, how're you doin'?

137
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,512
Harry, tommy, this
      Is frank, my friend.

138
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:03,014
- yeah, hi.
  - is this place magnificent?

139
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,750
It's the garage mahal.

140
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:11,155
You gotta have
Someplace to get away
From the clucking.

141
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,026
<I> ( whistle blows on tv )</I>

142
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,061
Ooh, color.

143
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,531
60 channels of it.

144
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,533
Knock yourself out.

145
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,002
- uh-huh, uh-huh...
    -<I> ( channels changing )</I>

146
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,606
Dick, look.
Debbie says that
The new promax router

147
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,875
Can handle even
      The wildest curves.

148
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,877
I don't know
    If debbie realizes

149
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,912
That can be taken
       Two ways.

150
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,148
Frank, this is new.
What is it?

151
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,183
- a back scratcher.
      - may I?

152
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,185
Be my guest.

153
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,188
Oh!  Oh, this
Is heavenly.

154
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,224
That spot has been
              Driving me nuts

155
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,226
Ever since
                 We landed.  Oh!

156
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,496
Please, keep it.

157
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,498
Really?

158
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,500
I've never received
             A gift before.

159
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,569
I have to give
               You something.
               Take tommy.

160
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:02,473
- mrs. Muller:<I> frank!</I>
   - that's the boss calling.

161
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,576
You know, it's fascinating,
     Every time his wife calls,

162
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,310
He jumps.

163
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:09,247
- see you around.
     - you can count on it.
       I like you, frank.

164
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,650
After all the time
   I've spent at the university,

165
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:15,086
It's refreshing to meet
         Someone who doesn't
         Pretend to be smart.

166
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,533
<I> ( orchestral theme music</I>
        <I> playing on tv )</I>

167
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,172
"Jerry dates a blind
      Girl.  Repeat."

168
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,241
Jerry dates
         A blind girl.

169
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,111
You know, it gains nothing
   The second time.

170
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:43,281
Man on tv:
  <I> this has been a rebroadcast</I>
    <I> of the 11 o'clock news.</I>

171
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:46,217
<I> we will resume</I>
   <I> programming at 6:00 a.M.</I>

172
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,152
<I> ( static )</I>

173
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,456
It's the snow show.

174
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,126
I saw this one
             Last night.

175
00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,363
So what do we do now?

176
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,099
Why don't we go visit
       Our friends, the mullers?

177
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,867
- harry: lets.
- great!  Will they be home?

178
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:05,737
It's 3:00 in the morning.
Where else would they be?

179
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,207
( knocking )

180
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:15,546
- hi, neighbor.
    - wh-what's the matter?

181
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,548
- nothing.
       - it's 3:00
         In the morning.

182
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,183
Patty said I could
              Drop by anytime.

183
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,953
Don't worry,
       We brought gifts.

184
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,388
A flank steak
For milady

185
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,058
And "The tv guide
        Crossword" for monsieur.

186
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,394
And by the way,
          The answer to
          "I blank lucy"

187
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,396
Isn't what you think.

188
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:35,767
- who is this?
  - that's my daughter cindy.
    She's in college.

189
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,169
My compliments.
She's a definite triumph

190
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,171
Of aerobics
    Over genetics.

191
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,943
I think someone would
       Like to see her naked.

192
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,648
So, let's fire up
    The barbecue.

193
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:52,416
Mrs. Muller:
       <I> frank, if you're</I>
       <I> in danger, shout!</I>

194
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:55,687
- go back to sleep!
    - you seem upset, frank.

195
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,689
- go home.
  - why?

196
00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:00,091
- maybe they want
         To have sex.
       - again?

197
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,593
- excuse me?
       - it's not what
         You're thinking.

198
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:05,263
It's just that we're
           So fascinated by you.

199
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,666
We've never met
          Anyone of your
          Economic class before.

200
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,500
My class?

201
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,670
Like you're so much
Better than we are?

202
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:13,938
Well, yes,
           But you'll evolve.

203
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,207
And until then,
        We can still be friends.

204
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,410
Friends?!
You are not my friend.

205
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,980
( stammers )
          We're best friends.

206
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:24,716
No, we're not!
  Get the hell outta here!

207
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,285
( whimpers )

208
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,853
And another thing:

209
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:32,456
Get your precious car
  Off my property!

210
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,060
Fine!  We can tell
     When we're not wanted.

211
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,000
- we're not wanted.
      - harry: oh!

212
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,077
It seems that
         Some of the...

213
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,312
Subtler principles
       Of electron motion

214
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,715
Were beyond
       Everyone's grasp.

215
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,550
- ( class groans )
- be thankful it's just a grade.

216
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,552
In most places,
This kind of performance

217
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,554
Gets you a spanking
          That still burns

218
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,857
When you're
       Blown out the airlock.

219
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:09,127
Dr. Solomon, are you
At least going to
Grade us on a curve?

220
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,662
Of course not--
  I grade on a transient loop.

221
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,737
- what?
      - it's very simple.

222
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:21,840
Your expected score
      Is located here,

223
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,843
The parameters
   Of your actual performance
   Are here, here and here,

224
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,746
Driving the expectation
    Versus performance data

225
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,915
Into the last three loops,
Two of which can't be seen

226
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,684
Because, of course,
      They're factored
      Only in time.

227
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,325
So is my "A"
             Still an "A"?

228
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,494
Oh, caryn.

229
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,064
No.

230
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,868
This shouldn't be all
         That difficult for you.

231
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,870
The interactions
         Of elementary particles

232
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,873
Are far simpler
           Than the interactions
           Between people.

233
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,308
( sighs )
             For example-- leon,

234
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,978
Do you have any friends
         In this class?

235
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,147
Well, sometimes
    I talk to caryn.

236
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,783
- so caryn is
Your friend?
         - yes.

237
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,122
I see.
             Pitman, you and bug
             Are friends, right?

238
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,723
Yeah, since third grade.

239
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:16,527
We used to trade
Underwear on sleepovers.

240
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,696
Shut up.

241
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:21,266
And this friendship
   Weathers all circumstance,

242
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,402
Survives the frictions
     Of daily life
     Completely intact?

243
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,770
- absolutely.
        - yeah, totally.

244
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,405
Even though
    He thinks you're stupid?

245
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,639
You think I'm stupid?

246
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,474
Only in a good way.

247
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,743
So there you have it--
          Friendship,

248
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,313
Obviously just
          A big waste of time.

249
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,315
And yet everyone
        On the planet

250
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,318
Gets all worked up
     About these pointless
     Little behaviors,

251
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,154
Blissfully unaware
       Of the great
       Vaporizing meteor

252
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,089
Due in 2015...

253
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:50,128
Which obviously doesn't
   Exist because I'm kidding.

254
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,237
Patty, thanks for
       Letting harry come along.

255
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:02,040
He's a little traumatized
     By all the tension at home.

256
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,209
Whee!

257
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,778
So does frank know
           You're with me?

258
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,714
No, I told him
I was setting a perm.

259
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,549
Does dick know
     You're with me?

260
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,551
No, I injected him
              With a sedative.

261
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,086
I've got at least
               Two more hours.

262
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,788
Ooh,
Like "Thelma and louise,"

263
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:21,159
Except we just came
To the supermarket and
We haven't murdered anyone.

264
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,995
It's early yet.

265
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:27,065
They're so stubborn.
    Why do men have
    To be that way?

266
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,467
I'm still trying to figure
      Out their fascination with

267
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,569
Burping the alphabet.

268
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,505
Now, the key to tomatoes
Is you gotta squeeze 'em.

269
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,607
If they're soft,
    They're ready.

270
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,880
This one's ready.

271
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:45,884
I'm the high commander!

272
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,323
- president clinton:<I> when our</I>
 <I>  interests are challenged...</I>
 - what are you watching now?

273
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,760
It's the president
           Clinton show.

274
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,762
He looks good on camera,

275
00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,231
But his show
          Is incredibly dull.

276
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,067
- dick, are you
          All right?
        - I'm fine.

277
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,236
- no, you're not.
       - yes, I am.

278
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,772
Okay, but your back
       Is starting to bleed.

279
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:12,410
I wish I had a remote.
Frank had a remote.

280
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,546
If you like frank so much,
   Why don't you go live
   At frank's house?

281
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:18,216
Sit down.

282
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,817
What is
           Your big problem?

283
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,519
Nothing.  I just
Reached out to frank,

284
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,221
And he kicked me
In the teeth

285
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,356
Because frank hates me
For no good reason.

286
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,793
- but, hey, that's frank.
   - humans are not perfect.

287
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,629
Well, that's a convenient
Excuse, isn't it?

288
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,732
- you just can't admit
       When you're wrong.
     - oh, please.

289
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,802
It's not like
I've never bonded with
A life-form, lieutenant.

290
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,971
Yes, yes, we know.
   You've bonded beautifully

291
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,407
With creatures
   On nine different systems.

292
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:45,243
And those that
Wouldn't bond we ate.

293
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,913
It's different here, dick.
   To bond with a human,

294
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:51,482
You have to give and take,
   Like me and patty.

295
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,484
It's not worth
    The trouble.

296
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,553
I can be perfectly content
As a disaffected loner.

297
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,621
<I> ( ratchet clicking )</I>

298
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,889
Was that you?

299
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,592
No.  And I
        Always tell you.

300
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:07,231
Someone's towing away
The rambler.

301
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,733
It's muller!

302
00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:11,735
Sally:
Why is he
Taking the car?

303
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:13,737
<I> ( car engine humming )</I>

304
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,739
Because he knows
        I love it.

305
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:17,741
Frank:
     <I> I told you, solomon--</I>

306
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:21,346
<I> eight inches</I>
    <I> over my property! </I> ha!

307
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,415
- dick, what's wrong?
     - I don't know.

308
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,451
There's an odd sensation
Moving through my body.

309
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,586
<I> ( dick groaning )</I>

310
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,689
( screaming )
       Who the hell does
    That stupid sack of fat

311
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,657
Think he is anyway?!

312
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,795
- dick?
        - I have a plan.

313
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,598
Remember, we're not allowed
To liquefy humans.

314
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,802
Okay, I have
         Another plan.

315
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:48,039
That's it.
      I'm invoking
      A supreme directive.

316
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,875
- I'll need witnesses.
     - ( dick groans )

317
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,844
- what is it?
    - I want you to remember
      Who you are.

318
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,780
- I'm the high commander.
   - and what is the high
     Commander's oath?

319
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:01,719
As high commander,
       I vow to handle
       All problems

320
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,821
With strength
         And deliberation.

321
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:06,657
I will strive
         To understand
         Other life-forms.

322
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,993
I will avoid aggression

323
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:11,962
And make peace with
      All those who piss me off.

324
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,570
- what are you doing here?
   - tommy: dick.

325
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,572
We've come to apologize
And make a peace offering.

326
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:25,076
So the great professor
     Offers the lowly chump
     A present

327
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:28,913
- and makes it better.
  - that's what we're hoping.

328
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,981
It's a double-sleeved
Roller bearing.

329
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,717
Look, you can talk
Down to me,

330
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,020
You can wake me up
    At 3:00 in the morning,

331
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,022
But you can't buy me off.

332
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:40,324
- it's cambered.
        - get out!

333
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:42,726
Aren't you
           Listening, chunky?
           He's apologizing.

334
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,064
Now, now, now--
    We are not going to
    Sink down to his level.

335
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,066
My level?

336
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,368
You people always go
Straight to the snob stuff.

337
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,504
Who are you calling "People"?
   You want a piece of me, huh?

338
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,374
You want a piece, huh?

339
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,609
- ( indistinct
           Whispering )
         - oh.

340
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:01,179
You want to fight?
       Come on!  Come on!

341
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,581
- that's enough.
        - get your hands
          Off of me.

342
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:07,017
- sorry.
- I-don't-like it!

343
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,454
- please don't do that.
    - oh, yeah, what are you
      Gonna do about it?

344
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:13,124
Huh?  Huh?  Huh?
    Egghead!  Brainiac!

345
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,528
Dick, I am
                 So disappointed
                 In you.

346
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,663
I don't know
What happened.
I just lost control.

347
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,933
- yeah, well, you hurt a human.
- we are in so much trouble.
  What if he talks?

348
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,070
- he won't if we
         Finish him off.
       - this is awful!

349
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:28,839
- well, you should
         Feel awful, pal.
       - but I don't.

350
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,841
I feel better,
         And powerful.

351
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,843
This is why
     People have friends--

352
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,146
So they can hit them.

353
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:38,749
This is incredible.
        It's the best
        I've ever felt!

354
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,853
Well, there's
         The down side.

355
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,999
- hi.
             - hi.

356
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,001
I'm so sorry
    About all this.

357
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,003
Frank can be
    Such an idiot.

358
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:01,038
How's your brother?
   Is he licking his wounds?

359
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,375
He tried, but he
    Couldn't reach 'em,
    So he made harry do it.

360
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,613
Hello.

361
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,948
You let
Sleeping dogs lie,
Frank muller.

362
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,884
This is guy stuff.
     Don't get your panties
     In a wad.

363
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,589
That's some
      Good advice, thanks.

364
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,259
So, uh, how're
You doin'?

365
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:24,595
- I'm swollen, thank you.
   - ( chuckles )  so am I.

366
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,730
Why are you
       Suddenly so civil?

367
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,832
Now we understand
Each other's boundaries.

368
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,868
You know my limits.
I know your limits.

369
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,903
Now we can respect
Each other.

370
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,306
Wait, let me see if I can
   Get this straight.

371
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:38,042
In order to achieve
           Each other's respect,

372
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,546
You had to resort to
Violent confrontation.

373
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,847
Now, doesn't that
           Strike you as stupid?

374
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,886
- kids, huh?
    - they don't
      Understand the world.

375
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,191
So, uh,
    We still friends?

376
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,125
Sure.

377
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,829
( weeping )

378
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,270
Okay, I finished
                My letter.

379
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,339
"Dear president clinton,

380
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,575
I've seen
             Your program on tv,

381
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,610
And I think
                  You need help.

382
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,814
Maybe in
                The next episode

383
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,750
There could be gunfire

384
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,986
Or even some explosions.

385
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:25,690
I know I'd like that.

386
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,192
Thanks for letting me
           Share my thoughts--"

387
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,695
Oh, I forgot to include
         My name and address.

388
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,898
You know,
            Patty is a woman

389
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,900
Of unexpected depth
          And wisdom.

390
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,969
She does things
           With contact paper

391
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,971
Most women
           Can only dream of.

392
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,641
I think I finally
       Understand

393
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,643
This compelling urge
      To make friends.

394
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,878
It isn't intellectual
     At all.

395
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,615
These bodies have
     A basic physical need
     For other people.

396
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,617
Well, in a biology
         This primitive,

397
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,719
There are bound to be
       A few weaknesses.

398
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:57,622
But that's the paradox.
    It's not a weakness.

399
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,690
That need is what
     Brings them together,

400
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:03,060
And that unity
        Is an enormous
        Source of power.

401
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:06,631
Yeah, it's
Powerful, all right,
But it's dangerous.

402
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:10,301
There are some urges
We're just going to
Have to learn to control.

403
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,570
Whoa!  Their
    Daughter's home.

404
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,308
Man:
   <I> ♪ please, won't you be ♪</I>

405
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:19,277
<I> ♪ my neighbor? ♪</I>

406
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:24,348
<I> ( '50s rock music playing )</I>